At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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