so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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