I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
