There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
