piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
