her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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