He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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