You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Randomize