everyone is single if you try hard enough
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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