she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
