Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
