LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
