At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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