so that wasnt chicken after all
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
