I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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