I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
