Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
