Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
