I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
