Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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