k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
