There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I showed him my bush... on skype.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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