I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
someone get that fucking seahorse.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
