she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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