I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize