he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
