..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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