Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
