Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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