How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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