I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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