You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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