is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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