he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize