Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
