No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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