Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
