Who wears a wallet chain?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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