yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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