I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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