How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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