Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
