Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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