do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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