Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
