i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
