ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
