if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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