try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
