Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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