i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
