some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
