Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
