Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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