i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
