Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
