Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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