nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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