That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
