Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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