Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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