Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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