i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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