Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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