do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
