Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
