He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
