we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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