i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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