If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
