Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
