I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
