apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
