I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
