Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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