i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
