When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
